Let’s Pretend This Makes Sense

Posted by on July 14th, 2010 at 9:17 AM

As I will look at anything Milo Manara draws, I looked at X-Women, and as long as I was looking at it I thought I would try to comprehend what it would mean if it made sense.  Make a game of it, as it were.  Here goes:  X-Women is a comic book about four female exhibitionists.  Being physically invulnerable and endowed with gnarly powers, their clothing need have no practical value aside from the practice of exhibitionism.  They are attired in one of three ways:  Scantily clad, partially nude, and almost completely nude.  If they were going to church, they would wear tight trousers and leather jackets.  The simpleminded viewer might conclude they are dressing simply to please men.  This would be wrong-headed.  Their dedication to self-exposure is as pure, selfless and inner-directed as the vocation of the most devout monk.  Witness (and believe me, you are called upon to witness) the fact that they will practice their exhibitionism in situations where there is no one present to see them.  When dressed formally for a social occasion their outfits are so designed that they could not move an inch without exposing a primary or secondary sexual characteristic.  They neither acknowledge that they are practicing their fetish or discuss it among themselves.  It is a solitary vice practiced collectively.  It’s like one of those pin-up calendar drawings where the girl is obliviously performing some mundane task in a see-through version of everyday clothing, as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening.  The mundane activity is a globe-trotting exotic adventure you would not give a second look to if semi-nude women were not present with ersatz hard-boiled narration you would not read unless you were trolling for snark for your blog post.  Along the way you get your light bondage, your hog-slopping scene if you’re nostalgic for Sex to Sexteen, your harem outfit, your pudendum-length cheongsam.  It’s like one of those Charlie’s Angels episodes where the Angels pose as a call-girl ring.  If this doesn’t service your particular cravings, according to the house ads they’ve got another X-Men series doing the dirty vampire thing.

It’s a little hard to buy the persecuted mutants theme when the mutants are Manara women.  If you were told that contact with these women causes cancer, the question would be “How soon?”  Not that contact with a Manara woman is a possibility, even in your dreams.  The Manara woman is out of your league, that league being the human race.  As always with Manara the erotic charge is low voltage because the sexual act at its heart (not that it has one) isn’t sexual intercourse, it’s voyeurism.

X-Women is a one-shot, so be careful your one shot doesn’t stain your clothing.

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One Response to “Let’s Pretend This Makes Sense”

  1. I could not possibly agree more with your assessment.