He also has mad Ho Yay with Tony Stark.

Posted by on February 12th, 2010 at 3:50 PM

You may have seen this on the news, but sometime last year a bunch of rich libertarians teamed up with the country’s remaining unapologetic racists and formed a club about it. In some ways, it’s been a pretty useful club. It gives Sarah Palin a place to go where she won’t bother the rest of us and nobody gives her shit about writing her speeches on her hands, and a lot of the members have channeled their scrapbooking skills into making creative and hilariously misspelled posters.  Also, somebody tricked them into naming themselves something only network news anchors can say without giggling. So that’s fun.

But sometimes the Teabaggers just get annoying, and bitching about the suggestion that Captain America disapproves of them is one of those times. I can understand the confusion. Most Teabaggers probably don’t read Captain America comic books, because who the hell reads Captain America comic books, and they don’t know much about the character.  They figure that, because Captain America represents American values, he must represent right-wing values, and thus should be on their side.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  As the two dozen people who read Captain America comics know, Cap often takes on conservatives.  Years ago, he fought and thwarted the right-wing Committee to Regain America’s Principles, headed by Richard Nixon.  After Nixon escaped justice by killing himself (only to be replaced by a lookalike, which is why you don’t remember Watergate ending that way), Cap lost faith in America and quit his own comic until it stopped being the ’70s and life was bearable again.  A few years later, he defeated Ronald Reagan in combat, although, to be fair, Reagan had been turned into a snake-man at the time.

Captain America has never been especially conservative, except to the degree that he gets grossed out if he sees the Scarlet Witch making out with her brother (this also really happened, but let’s forget about it and focus on fond memories of Snake-Reagan).  He represents all upstanding American values, not just conservative values.  If Tom Tacredo and my southern relatives start acting like kooks, Captain America isn’t going to give them a pass because they vote Republican.  He’s going to call them on it.

And if Marvel can be bullied into changing the text on some damn background signage rather than make Glenn Beck cry, there’s no way they’ll have the balls to do another “America’s Deadliest President” story in the foreseeable future.  Think about it, Teabaggers.  A Democrat is in the White House.  By whining and crying over an innocuous protest scene, you are ensuring that you will never get to see that Democrat turn into a monster and fight Captain America the way Ronnie Reagan did.  Thanks to you, Marvel is going to walk on eggshells whenever anything remotely political comes up, and the next person to suggest Fin Fang Obama is going to get fired rather than instantly and rightly crowned King of Comics.

Now I’m mad at you, Teabaggers.  Don’t wave your glitter signs at me.  That’s only cute when I’m  not mad.

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7 Responses to “He also has mad Ho Yay with Tony Stark.”

  1. Dirk Deppey says:

    You’ve never actually met anyone outside your socio-economic class before, have you?

  2. Nate says:

    Dirk,
    This is just the sort of populist ad hominem snark that makes me, like Shaenon, wont to dismiss this movement.

  3. Noah Berlatsky says:

    I wouldn’t necessarily place bets on the socio-economic class of the tea-partiers. Republicans are not in general actually less affluent than Democrats…and there are an awful lot of, say, working-class Hispanics who are not especially big fans of Mr. Tancredo.

    It’s nice to be reminded that conservatives are now the party of knee-jerk class-baiting, though. Marx lives.

  4. Brigid says:

    Actually, my understanding is that while the tea party folks may be working-class, they are being manipulated and bankrolled by a handful of rich folk who stand to lose if any progress is made on health care, etc.

    Why else would anyone vote against their own self-interest? Surely good public libraries, public schools, infrastructure, public safety, etc. benefit those who make a modest living far more than those who can use money to buy their own books, send their kids to private schools, and live in gated communities. And even the rather modest health care reforms currently being proposed would protect an awful lot of people from being scammed by their health insurance providers. What’s not to like?

    Just so my bona fides are in order, I work and am friends with people from all over the demographic spectrum. But more importantly, I’m not so selfish that I refuse to contribute to the common good.

  5. JoeyManley says:

    Dirk: she’s met me, and I am the grandson of a tenant farmer, son of a pipeline welder. But I possibly don’t count because I am a liberal … also, Shaenon: I know I owe you an email. I am working on that. Promise.

  6. Dirk: I’d be surprised to find out that Shaenon has spent her time with the GOP-supporting lobbyists who have been astroturfing the whole teabagger “movement”.

    But I have no doubt that, as a comic fan, she has spent a significant amount of time with any number of libertarian baby-men.

  7. Shay Guy says:

    Fin Fang Obama

    *SNRK*

    Guess there isn’t that much competition for the “King of Comics” title these days, though.